Why Do So Many People Struggle When Life Demands More of Them?
How to Stay Focused, Disciplined, and in Control Under Pressure
I used to think I had my life under control. I thrived on structure, routine, and predictability. I was a bodybuilder hitting the gym twice a day and eating every 3 hours. And then my usual approach to life completely fell apart…
When my son was diagnosed with autism, I had to face a reality that shattered my need for control. I was a rigid guy—someone who liked to plan, predict, and stick to a set schedule. I wanted so badly to control everything and get things done the "right" way, but I quickly learned that life didn’t care about my perfectly laid plans and my son didn’t operate that way. No matter how much I tried to enforce structure, life with him demanded flexibility, patience, and a completely different mindset. At first, I fought it. I resisted. And in doing so, I burned myself out.
At the same time, I was stepping back into school in my 30s, now with two kids. Balancing coursework, family responsibilities, and the emotional weight of everything felt impossible at times. I struggled with executive functioning—the ability to plan, organize, and stay on top of everything without feeling completely overwhelmed. I struggled with self-regulation—managing my emotions, energy, and mental state while life kept piling on more.
Ever wonder why some people seem to handle new challenges with ease while others get completely overwhelmed?
It’s not just about intelligence, talent, or even motivation—it’s about how well you manage yourself when the pressure is on.
Take college, for example. 30-50% of students drop out. Not because they aren’t smart enough, but because they struggle to handle the demands of managing their own time, workload, and emotions.
But let’s be real—this problem doesn’t stop after college.
New job? Deadlines, expectations, responsibilities.
Becoming a parent? Less sleep, more stress, nonstop demands.
Starting a business? Uncertainty, discipline, self-motivation.
Life will always demand more from you. The real question is: Are you training yourself to handle it?
Here’s the thing: tools help. I’ve used plenty—breathwork, scheduling systems, mindfulness, exercise, visualization. These strategies have been valuable, but what I’ve come to realize is that you don’t just need more tools—you need a different worldview. Instead of constantly trying to regulate yourself from stress, you have to stop creating so much of it in the first place.
When you let go of the need to control everything, accept life as it comes, and find peace in uncertainty, you don’t have to rely on so many regulation techniques just to function.
Are You Ready to Handle More?
Big transitions will test your ability to stay organized, focused, and emotionally grounded. So ask yourself:
Are you actively working on improving how you handle stress, unpredictability, and responsibility?
Do you feel prepared for a life that demands more from you?
If not, what’s one thing you can start doing today to strengthen these skills?
What’s Holding You Back?
Two key mental skills separate those who thrive from those who struggle:
1. Executive Functioning (Your Brain’s “CEO”)
This is your ability to plan, prioritize, and get things done efficiently. If you’ve ever found yourself procrastinating, forgetting things, or feeling scattered, this is the system that needs work.
2. Self-Regulation (Your Inner Control System)
This is what helps you stay calm, focused, and in control under stress. If you’ve ever reacted emotionally, felt overwhelmed, or struggled to push through discomfort, this is where to focus.
How Are You Preparing for the Next Level?
Ask yourself:
🔹 Do I have systems in place to stay disciplined and focused?
🔹 When life gets overwhelming, do I shut down or step up?
🔹 What am I doing daily to build mental strength?
3 Practical Tips for Strengthening Executive Functioning:
Plan Less, Prioritize More – Instead of overwhelming yourself with detailed schedules, focus on what actually moves the needle each day.
Create External Systems – Use reminders, lists, and automation so you don’t have to rely on memory and willpower alone.
Make Decisions Faster – Overthinking drains mental energy. Set time limits for decisions and trust yourself more.
3 Practical Tips for Strengthening Self-Regulation:
Control Your Inputs – Limit unnecessary stress from news, social media, and toxic environments that dysregulate you.
Shift Your Story – When things don’t go as planned, reframe it. Instead of seeing chaos, see an opportunity to adapt.
Find Peace in the Moment – Instead of always trying to fix and regulate, ask: What if this is okay just as it is?
Can You Handle Whatever Life Throws at You?
This is where self-mastery starts. The sooner you train yourself to handle higher demands, the sooner you’ll thrive in any situation.
So, what are you doing to strengthen these skills? Hit reply and let me know. I read every response.
P.S. Big things coming soon—stay tuned. 🚀